Name: SarahSezLove (Signed) · Date: December 28, 2013 01:37 am · For: Chapter 2
Remember that compliment you paid me? The one where you said I wrote the emotions of a teenage boy so well? Well, I'm sending it right back at ya. And it's not just teenage boys you do well, Jim. Your characters are always so multi-layered, something you seem to be able to do with just a few details.
I've said it before - and, no doubt, I'll say it again - you've a gift I'll never get tired of unwrapping.
Author's Response: I remember that compliment very well. You certainly deserved it-which reminds me how much I'd love to see a follow up to that story when life allows you the time to compose it. Your compliments about the characterization mean a lot to me since that is something I worry about often in the writing process. I'm so pleased that they come across multi-layered for you. As for gifts, your words of support and encouragement are pretty wonderful gifts,too! Thank you ever so much!
Name: slashfreak (Signed) · Date: December 27, 2013 02:46 pm · For: Chapter 1
Fantastic writing Noah's thoughts and feelings. I'm really excited to read Noah being interested in someone other than Luke. I know it's a HEA cuz the rules of this site dictate it, but this will be really fun to read!!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I hope I don't disappoint you too much, but I'm not planning on utilizing that part of the prompt about Noah developing feelings for Reid. Not because I don't think it holds promise, but because I'd rather keep Reid as a "threat" to Nuke via his feelings for Luke/Luke's attraction to him. The way this is shaping up in my head there are still some surprises in store, so I hope you will find it a fun read even without that particular element! Thanks again!
Name: newhaven (Signed) · Date: December 27, 2013 10:51 am · For: Chapter 2
Great update to an excellent story. Can't wait to read what happens next.
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Sue! I'm glad you're enjoying it. I would have preferred the canon storyline to have gone in a different direction at this point (actually, long before this point, but you know what I mean)so I think I'm going to enjoy writing something that is hopefully far more satisfying and engaging than what played out onscreen. I appreciate your reading and commenting!
Name: wheelie47 (Signed) · Date: December 27, 2013 09:32 am · For: Chapter 2
So good to see you back with a chapter of this excellent fic, Jim!
You write with such vivid details that it is easy to get caught up in your words and in the portrayal of how Noah feels in this surreal situation. I can't imagine how it would be like to be surrounded by people you don't know but who obviously care for you deeply.
No wonder Noah is overwhelmed and confused and you portrayed that perfectly.
Looking forward to more soon!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Anne! You're always so very kind.I'm pleased that Noah's inner conflict and intense confusion feels genuine to you. If something like this happened to any of the rest of us we'd be absolutely hysterical, but our Noah is reacting much calmer (at least for now) since stoicism is his default. I'll definitely try to get the next chapter out a little quicker than this one! Thanks again-I so appreciate your support!
Name: European Orchid (Signed) · Date: December 27, 2013 02:13 am · For: Chapter 2
I'm really thrilled to see this updated, Jim (no surprise there, probably...)
The almost businesslike manner in which you describe seventeen year old Noah's day, drives home his staggering loneliness all the more (and ha! Of course Colonel Crazy watches Fox News! Way to give a full character description in just one sentence!). It also heightens the contrast in the scene you describe next; Noah four years later, encasing himself in a coffin of politeness because he doesn't remember he now has the "things he didn't even know how to ask for".
Is there such a thing as 'exquisite pain'? I guess there is now 'cause I'm feeling some.
As you know I have been a fan of your writing since I read your first paragraph. It has always been good. But with every new chapter and new story, I see you develop into an even better one. Your writing becomes 'bolder', if that makes any sense; you seem to challenge yourself to try new concepts, new ideas and new ways of expressing the emotions the story needs. What is more, you are (IMO at least) succeeding. And I for one can't wait to read what you will conjure up next.
Author's Response: Mariken, in addition to being a marvelous writer in your own right, you're every author's dream reviewer. You just get it EXACTLY. Seventeen year old Noah's daily life is lived in almost robotic isolation, yearning deep down for something more but not having any idea how to go about getting it, and feeling burdened by secret sexual attractions he doesn't understand or want. And this Noah has now been thrust into his life four very eventful years in the future. I'm pleased you're finding it "exquisitely painful" because I'm not through putting poor Noah through ordeals just yet. I am deeply touched and honored that you think I am continually improving as a writer, and I'm sincerely grateful for such a wonderful assessment. You've made my day (and quite possibly my week!)
Name: Valenti1965 (Signed) · Date: December 26, 2013 11:35 pm · For: Chapter 2
Oh pick the new life Noah!! Bet it must be so confusing for Noah to have these strangers who care for him so much. Loved Casey's little speech to him. Another fantastic chapter JIm! Can't wait for the next one!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Louise! Yes, when Noah first came to Oakdale, he had to gradually learn to open himself up and let other people love him, but now he literally went to sleep as a lonely, isolated, and closeted teenager and woke up in a strange new world where people he doesn't remember ever meeting have profound affection for him. Casey is probably the one most people wouldn't expect to get emotional, but I thought it seemed appropriate. Glad you loved that part! I so appreciate your constant support! :)
Name: wheelie47 (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2013 03:25 pm · For: Chapter 1
Wow! Excellent start there, Jim!
I really felt Luke's confused mix of emotions at the start here.
You really had Reid's character down pat.
And poor Noah! No wonder he's so confused and anxious, confronted by a world so completely different from yesterday!
As usual your descriptive style of writing painted a picture that has drawn me in already. Looking forward to more real soon!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Anne! I enjoyed the opportunity to get inside Luke's head. He really was a complete mess at this point. Glad Reid rang true for you. I don't like the character much, but I want the characterization to be authentic and not tainted by my bias. And poor Noah has been thrust ahead four years to a life he has no recollection of! As always, I appreciate your generous and supportive words!
Name: Cariad123 (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2013 01:06 pm · For: Chapter 1
Jim as always you astound me with your writing brilliance .... You just have a way with words that draws a reader right into the story making them feel every little emotion possible .. I really am in awe of you talent Jim every thing you share with us is pure perfection x
Author's Response: Stella, you have no idea how much your words mean to me. You're a wonderful writer yourself, so I consider that high praise! Thank you so much!
Name: ficnic (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2013 07:29 am · For: Chapter 1
Ah this is a tremendous start, Jim. I feel for Luke here (which isn't always the case LOL). He loves Noah, and having to deal with his worry over him, his guilt over his extracurricular activities with Reid, his relief when Noah wakes up, and then the pain when Noah doesn't know him - it's a lot for anyone to handle. And I know Reid isn't a favorite of yours, but as a big fan of him myself, I have to say you've written him well. He's brash and unapologetic, but also confident and sexy, and he doesn't suffer from the kind of indecision Luke does - when he wants something, he wants it, and that's that. He doesn't think it to death or worry about offending people - and that quality can be a huge turn-off for many, and a total turn-on for Luke, especially to be wanted by someone like that when he hasn't felt wanted by Noah in months. I also love your characterization of Noah; despite all his confusion and fear, his military upbringing kicks in, almost like a shield. He's been thrown into a whole other world he doesn't know, yet he's unfailingly polite to the total strangers around him. All while surely being terrified at this crazy situation he finds himself in, and losing four whole years of his life. Can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Nic. I'm pleasantly surprised that I seem to have successfully engendered sympathy for Luke, since I was pretty pissed off at him at this point in the show. Given my status as a known Reid disliker, I am a bit surprised by how fun he is to write. This is the first fic I'm writing in which he's playing an active role. I enjoy having the opportunity to write him as the clear antagonist of this piece,since that's really how I always viewed him. I'm aiming for a characterization, though, that I'm hoping will still ring true for those who have a more favorable opinion of the character than I do. Don't hesitate to let me know if it doesn't. And I am quite pleased that others agree with my perspective that Noah would behave remarkably calmly (at least externally) in the face of the bizarre and disturbing situation of finding he's lost four years of his life. As always,I appreciate your thoughtful perspectives!
Name: Aspirwriter (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2013 07:12 am · For: Chapter 1
Fascinating premise, Jim. Has promises of SO much more! Write, man, write!!
Author's Response: Thanks so much Tom! The prompt called for Noah to wake up with no memory of Luke, but I decided to take it a step further and have him not remember anything from the last four years, reverting him back to a seventeen years old. I'm glad that premise has hooked you, and I hope to have another chapter soon!
Name: sln188 (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2013 06:15 am · For: Chapter 1
great start with an interesting premise from the prompt. You've set up the conflict for Luke so well. I just really hope that you will carry on and finish the story. Thanks.. and I know it will be worth the wait.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I will definitely carry on and finish the story, though it may take me awhile. I'm glad to know you think it will be "worth the wait." I'll try not to make you "wait" too long for the next chapter!
Name: European Orchid (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2013 03:41 am · For: Chapter 1
Oh Boy. Something tells me I had better invest in Kleenex. I have a feeling their stock is about to go up, as this chapter already deftly broke my heart. But at least you broke it in all the right places, Jim!
Luke, right from the start, is the Luke I remember, not the mockery the ATWT-writers made of his character in the final months. And his responses are authentic to THAT Luke, the one he was before he turned into a Reid-adoring zombie who’s only remaining line was ‘he’s a good man’ and with whom I lost all patience. The downside (albeit a good downside, if there is such a thing) of the Luke you created here is that immediately, starting with the first paragraph, you made me so very sad for him. Yay?
Which leads me to Reid. At least this version of him seems a little more honest in his intentions. Although I’m inclined to distrust his instruction to only feed Noah little spoonfuls of information about his last 4 years because it is – let’s face it – a very effective way of keeping him apart from Luke. I’m both exited an a little afraid of what you may have in store for us there, LOL.
And Noah. Well….. More heartbreak, again of a delectable kind. I love how you create a variety on the moment of their first touch of hands and Noah (being a younger, fearful version of himself that is still tethered to Colonel Crazy by a hundred invisible threads) responds the way a skittish animal would. Which is undoubtedly what he was as seventeen. The way he kept asking for his dad sprained my cardiac muscle in the most severe way. Imagine having to be the one who has to have that conversation with him. Which brings me full circle to Luke breaking my heart with his compassion and kindness and anguish.
I swear Jim, one of these day’s I’m gonna write you a review that explains why you are so awesome in 50 words or less. Until then, however, I’ll brazenly blame you for my lack of conciseness. The day you put less layers, and details, and goodness in your writing, is the day I’ll be able to keep it short. (hint: please don’t!)
Author's Response: As usual, Mariken, your articulate and thoughtful review helps me to see my own writing from different angles. And I don't discriminate, I love reviews whether they are a single sentence or several paragraphs! You're completely right about Luke. What was done to him at the end was a travesty. To be bluntly honest, I actually started to think Noah was too good for him. Which is probably the opposite of what those manipulative writers wanted me to think! Zombie Luke is not invited to this story, and I hope that his reactions will continue to feel authentic to the Luke we all knew and loved. And Reid is still trying to bang Luke while Noah's health and future are still a big question mark. Classy guy, huh? And of course poor Noah has reverted back to his lonely, troubled pre-Luke teenage years. At least for the time being, ALL of the considerable progress he has made in the last four years in terms of self acceptance has been wiped away. But he's still Noah, and he (and Luke) deserve a happy ending. If I'm feeling generous, maybe I'll throw Reid a bone. We'll see. Thanks again, Mariken!
Name: SarahSezLove (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2013 12:18 am · For: Chapter 1
I'm totally hooked, Jim.
Noah's confusion is so realistic. It's actually a little heart-wrenching that a 'seventeen' year old boy would be so poised during such a traumatic situation. That colonel really goes have more than a lot to answer for.
I really like the awkward dynamic between Luke and Reid - perfect characterisation.
So looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Thanks so much Sarah. I couldn't imagine how freaked out I'd be if I woke up and some total strangers were telling me that I'd just lived four years of my life that I didn't remember. Noah's relative calmness is almost eerie compared to how most of us would react, but I think it fits his character. Glad you liked the dynamic between Luke and Reid. I liked the idea of starting the story right at this point, because this was before the writing had shifted and Reid started to be written as so noble. This back and forth between them strikes me as the logical continuation of their confrontation at the apartment earlier. I always appreciate your thoughtful comments!
Name: Valenti1965 (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2013 11:48 pm · For: Chapter 1
Great start Jim!! Very interesting indeed. So Noah remembers nothing. Luke still wont sleep with Reid lol poor Reid his forceful statement there was quite a turn on...but um who else will he be turning on?... So this is going to be interesting and i look forward to Luke going after Noah to make sure he falls for the right man! x
Author's Response: Thanks Louise! I think Reid's forceful nature is definitely attractive to Luke at this confusing time because there's been so much uncertainty surrounding him and Noah for so long. But he's also fighting hard against it because he still loves Noah, of course. I don't think the Neid aspect of the prompt will play much of a role in the story, although Noah will certainly recognize that he is a very attractive man. I appreciate your support very much!
Name: daan73 (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2013 11:29 pm · For: Chapter 1
Fabulous Start Jim
Cannot wait to see how you continue this so glad to see you posting it !
Author's Response: Thanks so much Dani! I really appreciate your support! I'll try not to make you wait too long for more!