Name: Loahisi (Signed) · Date: March 17, 2012 01:58 pm · For: Chapter 2
I didn't remember the pond's scene. Well I remember reading something like that but didn't remember it was in your story. Noah is really a hero here. You can see he loves Ethan very much. That's so cool.
Author's Response: I've always loved Noah's relationship with Luke's siblings...
Name: neddiheht (Signed) · Date: December 18, 2011 07:32 pm · For: Chapter 2
Well now, thanksgiving is never dull at the Snyder farm, is it?
The bit with Luke cooking for Emma, that was cute and worked.
The setup for Ethan falling through the ice, that also worked.
The piece done from Ethan's perspective? I totally get what you were going for, but the passage didn't achieve it for me. There were just too many details that as observers we needed that Ethan couldn't give, and so we don't see what I'm assuming is the ice cracking, among other things. Like I said, I totally get what you were going for, and you went for it and that's huge... but I don't think it worked. I came out confused. I had to skip past the passage and read further down and then come back to figure out what was going on.
Poor Luke... he's terrified for Noah and that so comes through here... but I would have liked a brief scene of them putting Noah, unconscious, in the bed and warming him up, and of Luke sitting there watching him before he fell asleep from exhaustion at the side of the bed. For me it felt like a logical scene, so that it was missing bothered me.
I do like to try and write for the child's perspective but this is hard, because like you say, the child cannot voice what he doesn't understand himself... which leaves the reader just as perplexed.
Name: neddiheht (Signed) · Date: December 18, 2011 07:18 pm · For: Chapter 1
I love the fact that Holden is including Noah when he talks about having scared "your mother" -- even though at this point the boys haven't really formalized their relationship.
Still having pronoun confusion issues... It's really important once you've chosen a person to refer to as "him" that you keep that same person throughout. I know it's really awkward, but otherwise it's not clear to the reader who you mean, and it gets really confusing.
I struggle a little during the thanks. I feel like... well, like Noah is too doubtful of the Snyder's love for him. I always felt that's something that was really done well, that Noah even understood ... and his reason for pulling away from that had nothing to do with doubts over their love for him and inclusion in the family, but the pain that being near them caused for him as a reminder of Luke.
I think it's cute that it's Luke and not Noah who is struggling with the temperature change, given that Noah has been in LA longer.
I'm assuming the night terrors that Noah is having are supposed to be foreshadowing later events with Oliver. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it. I remember it not making sense to me the first time I read it. Anyway... Not that I feel you should be giving too much away, but I felt like it was clear more was going on, but that I didn't have enough information to sort through it.
I love that Luke talks to Reid at the pond.
I do like to create questions so there are times when I don't give enough information on purpose... I guess with the nightmares I suspected people would link them to what happened with Winston... and then be just as surprised as the boys to discover it's not linked at all...
I'm totally going to be watching that pronoun thing now!
Name: buttercup (Signed) · Date: June 12, 2011 05:02 pm · For: Chapter 2
LOL I have always loved the Noah/Emma relationship!
You go, Noah! Good job! And poor Luke. You know he had to be so scared leaving Noah in the water while he took Ethan to his dad and Jack.
Awesome story! Awesome series!
Thanks buttercup... I just had to add some drama to Thanksgiving! It's just the way I am... LOL!
Name: buttercup (Signed) · Date: June 12, 2011 04:59 pm · For: Chapter 1
Ok, first of all OF COURSE they would welcome you with open arms, Noah! You're a Snyder ;o)
Oh Lord, I thought maybe he could get past everything with Psycho without nightmares or anything. Poor Noah!
It's amazing how he knows what Luke is doing at the pond, and he's willing to not only accept it, but to be part of it. He's come a long way in your version of the future.
Yip... shadows start to lurk in this one and will carry over into the next two stories... poor Noah!
Having Noah be at peace with the whole Reid thing was important to me... because I always believed it was something he could grow to accept because he knows Luke so well...
Glad you enjoyed this one...
Name: daan73 (Signed) · Date: March 27, 2011 12:35 pm · For: Chapter 2
well that was so cute the thanksgiving part and than the horror of the ice
i am glad everything turned out allright
and now they need to split up for a while :(
Yes, afraid so... there was no other way for Luke to leave Oakdale and Noah has to stay in LA. :-)
Name: CGil (Signed) · Date: February 17, 2011 05:26 am · For: Chapter 2
OMG I have not stopped reading this series sinced I discovered it yesterday...Read a all the way to i since yesterday afternoon..I am so addicted...Can't wait to read and catch up to what has recently been posted...Great Stuff!!! You capture the characters beautifully!! I feel like I am reading a transcript of what would have been an actual episode..ooo what happens next......off to find out now.... :)
Hi CGil! I always let out a little whoop when I get a comment from somebody new! I'm so pleased to hear that you are enjoying the series so far... better buckle up as it's about to get even more bumpy! LOL!
I'm so touched at what you said regarding it being like "a transcrips of what would have been in actul episode" because that is exactly what I was aiming for... to give Nukies an ending!
Thank so much! I hope you continue to comment!
Name: Santasorted (Signed) · Date: December 16, 2010 03:31 am · For: Chapter 2
Where have you come from? Your writing is just incredible! I keep getting these warm fuzzy feelings inside when I read your stories!
Name: daan73 (Signed) · Date: November 30, 2010 06:15 am · For: Chapter 2
whow that was a set of pretty intense chapters
loved the interaction witht he family and the way Noah just blended in as if nothing had changed wonderful
and the rescue of ethan damn that was pretty hard stuff there
glad they are both allright
cant wait for christmas
Ah thanks Danielle!
Actually the next one will feature Christmas :) and could proove to be even more intense... Although I'm never really ever sure how a story is going be until I've actually written it.
Name: tammynelson78 (Signed) · Date: November 29, 2010 08:41 pm · For: Chapter 2
LOVED IT....PLEASE CONTINUE...I THOROUGHLY ENJOY THIS SERIES!!!! I DO HAVE A QUESTION, WHAT GATE ARE THEY WALKING THROUGH AND WHY DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT AS EASY ON EACH OTHER AS POSSIBLE?
Thanks for another lovely comment Tammy! As usual I'm please you are enjoying these...
As for your question... it's the security gate at the airport... Noah is returning to LA... I've edited it in the story to make it more clear for other readers... Thanks for pointing it out!
Name: glori572 (Signed) · Date: November 29, 2010 03:10 pm · For: Chapter 2
got scared for a minute there. can't wait for more. am hoping for a nuke wedding, think it's still legal in california.
Thanks so much for commenting as usual!
As for the wedding... We'll see ;-)
Name: ficnic (Signed) · Date: November 29, 2010 01:00 am · For: Chapter 2
Aww! Poor Noah - can the guy catch a break? But he's such a hero, yet again - LOVE it. It's so like him to put someone else's welfare first. Thank goodness Luke was able to get to him in time.
Now, looking forward to the next installment in the series, where hopefully, they're reunited!
Yes I know! But then if these things didn't keep happening to the boys we wouldn't have anything to read and write about... tee hee! I love writing in these humps and watching the boys get over them!
Thanks again for your amazing support!
Name: ficnic (Signed) · Date: November 29, 2010 12:53 am · For: Chapter 1
Great chapter! I'm off to read the next one...
Name: lety26 (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2010 09:33 pm · For: Chapter 1
so glad Noah saved Ethan! and that both him and the kid are fine <3 ah and before tragedy lamost struck love the thanksgiving they had but Noah's nightmares are starting to worry me :(..... hopefully it's nothing too serious.
Ah lety you are very kind! Thank you so much for all your support!
PS... I think things are about to get dark again I'm afraid! I just can't help myself! I LOVE the angst as well as the happy times!
Name: glori572 (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2010 08:08 pm · For: Chapter 1
oh, that was so sweet just up until the end when you made me get all sniffly with luke talking to reid. wow, i'm wondering what is causing noah's nightmares, can't wait to find out though. hope you continue soon.